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Her Blog
Her Blog

Self-identity and self-concept are largely developed through friends, family, values and simple day-to-day activities – all of which become incredibly intertwined in a long-term relationship. So when a relationship ends, the self-identity and self-concept that we have developed with our partners is suddenly pulled like a rug from beneath our feet.  It leaves us feeling lost. We struggle to find out who we are, without them. This struggle for a new sense of self-identity without our partner is why we see many newly single people take drastic measures such asSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

My biggest pain point at the start of this journey (besides the thought of not being able to see my kids every day, and grappling with the harsh reality of being all on my own now) was how to get started with the process of separation.In fact, I had absolutely no idea of what to do until I met with a lawyer a few weeks after our split.I arrived at my lawyer’s office with an empty notepad, a pen and my purse stuffed in the side pocket of a babySEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

It’s no secret: the first few weeks (and sometimes months) of a separation or divorce can feel like a never ending cycle of really, really bad days.Suddenly, everything is unknown. And, if you’re like me, crying becomes your new conversation starter.Is this really happening to me?What am I going to do now?Who am I supposed to be if I’m not with them?What about our dreams and plans?What am I supposed to tell the children?It would be brilliant if we had superpowers that allowed us to bypass this stage of aSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, you guessed it: exactly the same applies when it comes to surviving a separation or divorce.As early as possible, you need to begin assembling an A-list support team (let’s call them your entourage) to help you break-down, break-through and then move on from your breakup! Now, if you’re already well on the way to legal separation or divorce but still feel isolated or alone – this blog’s for you too!What you need is a group of people who willSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

Facing a brand new year can bring up a whole bunch of emotions: relief, freedom, fear, sadness–and that’s even before we get started on resolutions. Oh, those pesky promises. When you’ve just gone through a split, it’s tempting to see the brand new shiny year as the time that everything changes. I know, I’ve been there. The first New Year after my marriage split, I only had one resolution: “This year isn’t going to be as bad as last year.” How could it have been?But by February, amid legal negotiations,SEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

If the countdown to Christmas is giving you chills, and every ad showing a happy family enjoying a celebratory lunch is making you well up… I get it. It’s the big moments in the year, like Christmas, that really make it hit home: things have changed. And, yes, when you’re thinking about not being a ‘whole’ family unit anymore, not enjoying your in-laws traditions, having to share your kids on Christmas day, it’s true that the idea of the most wonderful time of the year can feel anything but. Besides,SEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

You’ve probably been hearing it since you were a kid getting into schoolyard spats: there are always two sides to a story. “Yes, mum,” you probably sighed. These days, older and wiser, we realise that mum was probably right all along. But, sorry mum, there’s actually a pretty big exception to this rule. And it has to do with your relationship and how it ended. That’s when YOUR side of the story is the ONLY story that really matters.Think about it: you’re newly separated, and you’ve got it worked out:SEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

A few weeks ago, my ex arrived a tiny bit later than arranged for the handover of our kids. I was ready; watching the clock, waiting to turn that uninterrupted, magnesium-laced spa bath, red wine and book into my new reality. Bring. It. On. Then suddenly, just like that: I looked at my watch – he was late. I felt my body tense up. My frown line deepened. I was frustrated and angry, in an instant. I started shallow breathing as my heart raced. But wait, there’s more! Enter stageSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

In a perfect world, we’d all be peacefully tucked up in bed by 9.30pm, relaxed and ready to sleep a solid eight hours. Meanwhile, our perfect children would have happily trotted off to bed and drifted into happy dreams.Ha! If only we lived in that perfect world, right? If you’re anything like me, your evenings are filled with wrangling kids, getting stuff done after they’ve finally–after one more story, one more drink of water–gone to sleep and maybe even stealing a few moments to yourself before lights out. For me,SEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

Guys, guys: do you know Garth Brooks’ hit song Unanswered Prayers? Bear with me here–this hasn’t turned into a music blog. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, jump on YouTube and listen carefully. Go on, turn it up.Because this song has a VERY powerful message.When you don’t get what you want in life, there’s a reason: it’s to get you to your destiny.When my marriage came crashing down, my heart and spirit crumbled along with it. I felt so alone and lost. But most of all, ISEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

The other night, I cozied up with a glass of wine and watched that buzzed-about TV drama Big Little Lies starring (and produced by) the ever-inspiring Reese Witherspoon. OMG… it’s a must-watch! You’ll laugh, cry (a lot, and then some!) and will be completely distracted from your own woes as you become enthralled in the twisted story line.I saw myself in so many different moments throughout this series – in both the challenge and beauty of motherhood, the adversity of difficult relationships, those new beginnings and the steadfast friendships thatSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

When you held that tiny bundle in your arms for the first time, did you make a wish for your new baby’s future? Did you hope they’d be kind and fair? Did you gaze at your partner and imagine the happy home you’d make as a little family? I know I did.And what about now? Perhaps when you gaze at your little ones, you have some different things running through your mind: will they be okay with the split? And are they going to turn into the narcissist you’re separatingSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

There’s the ex: new hair cut looking sharp, a big old smile pasted on their face, phone pinging with Tinder notifications while the kids happily gaze up at them. Have they been working out? Then there’s you: bags under your eyes from another sleepless night and a mind that’s jumping between your bank balance and your break-up. What on God’s green earth is going on, you wonder. How do they have it all together, and so quickly?! The truth is, they probably don’t. And even if they do, I’m hereSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

“Oh, the places you’ll go! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!” – Dr. SeussReally? Great places, I hear you scoff.If you’re in the middle of a separation or divorce, or going through a really rocky patch, that Great Place you glimpsed on your wedding day probably looks like a not-so-great dump these days.Truth is: Dr Seuss did set our expectations for life pretty darn high! (Fairytales, rom-coms and Disney have something to answer for, too). So how do you move on when those expectations–forSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

Think back: have you ever been so furious with your spouse or ex that you’ve fired off a nasty SMS, shot off a ranty email or left an angry voicemail?Well, you’re definitely not alone.Truth is, emotions are a very hard beast to tame at the best of times – but especially so when you’re heartbroken, confused or angry. The key? Understanding that it’s a (very normal) process… and you will come out the other side.The 7 Stages of a BreakupEmotions are driven by numerous chemical reactions in your body. They’reSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

When my happily ever after ended, I had more rude awakenings than Lady Gaga has costume changes. One of these realizations? Just how entangled my soon-to-be-ex husband and my tech worlds had become in only a few short years.Throughout my marriage there was no hesitation to share mobile phones, tablets, laptops, desktop computers, cars (with GPS), emails, usernames and passwords. It was all part and parcel of doing life as a team, after all. But when I realized just how much of my personal info my ex could get hisSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

Did my first blog post in this series freak you out? Sorry to scare you, but I’m serious: if you don’t have your health, you’re in trouble.If you missed it, check it out here.The good news is this: there are simple steps you can take to safeguard your health while you’re going through a separation.First and foremost, you need to get yourself eating well and sleeping well. I know: easier said than done. So, what does that actually look like?How to eat your way through divorce (in a good way)FuelSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

You might have noticed something kind of strange: when your world falls apart… your body falls apart too. And usually, by the time your health has taken a hit – boom – it’s too late.You’ve got your legal representative. You’ve got your counsellor. You’ve got your accountant. You’ve got your support team. Maybe you’ve even got your settlement and custody agreements all sorted.But do you have your health? Without it, the rest isn’t going to matter much at all.What to do? In the first of this two-part blog post, I’mSEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

It’s not often you hear love and respect used in the same sentence as divorce — if you’re anything like the majority of people going through it, acrimony and pain might be more like it.(Unless, of course, you managed to untie the knot both lovingly and respectfully. If so, that’s awesome. But don’t stop reading here).If you’re in the midst of a breakup, or are currently navigating a separation or divorce, you’re probably feeling anything but love and respect right now. I know: I’ve been there. But can things be different?Sure,SEE DETAILS

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Her Blog

What’s worse: a jet lagged 3-month-old? Or a jet lagged toddler? Or the 8-hour solo flight to said destination, which makes the children jet lagged?It’s not a trick question. It was my reality as an expat.On this particular day, I was recovering from jet lag but happy – happy to be back home with my husband after a trip to see family and introduce the newest member of our clan.I was nursing a 3-month-old and keeping a watchful eye on the super-charged toddler bouncing off the walls and doing anythingSEE DETAILS

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